If you’re a reader of this blog, and you’re a parent, it’s highly likely that you don’t need to read this post. But, humor me. Just in case you need reminding.
As parents, our job is more than to make sure that our babies turn into adults. It’s more than making it through the day, the week, or the year. Let this short post be a reminder to you to question yourself. Don’t just do things because that’s the way you’ve always done them. Don’t make parenting decisions based solely on the way you were parented or on what society expects of you.
We should be asking ourselves on a daily basis WHY we do things. Why is it a rule that your child can’t touch certain things? Are these arbitrary things? Why do you discipline him or her in a particular way? Is it working? Is there a better option? Why do you watch more television than your child is allowed? Is that modeling good behavior? Why do you get frustrated that your child is questioning you? Is it because you don’t have a real reason for what you’re doing in the first place?
It’s easy to get into a rote routine, and at times it is necessary. But, don’t stay there long. For your sake and your child’s sake, question yourself. Make sure you have actual, legitimate reasons for your actions, reactions, habits, discipline, and rules (or principles). And make sure your child knows those reasons.
24/06/2010 at 7:58 pm Permalink
My friend and I had a conversation about very subject this today. I recently posted a blog about the Pearl/Ezzo books and that led to a discussion on the idea of discipline being fair and purposeful instead of arbitrary.
Very good reminders, even for us parents who are reading 😉 Being a parent is not a stagnant occupation. It changes as your children grow and change – and if you’re a good parent, you change because you’ve heard or read or seen something that makes you re-think something that you’re doing now that isn’t in line with the kid of parent you want your kids to have.
Warmly,
~h
29/07/2010 at 7:57 am Permalink
I totally I agree with this … so important to question what you’re doing on a regular basis, in every area of life! In this arena, I find it helps to have a young daughter who has an inbuilt unfairness alarm that automatically springs the word “Why?” from her mouth and for me to have become the kind of parent who stops to think about it.
There are still times my answer to her is that I don’t think I have a good reason, when there isn’t one and we can both work with that from there. Aren’t we all irrational or conditioned at times? But it’s so much better than the reactions I received as a child!